I close my eyes and I remember
how we once made each other laugh.
I lived for your smile, which signaled
another moment of our life together, forever,
for a while.
Our youthful dreams intertwined
as we practiced being one.
Then she came.
A bundle of unspeakable pride, utter ecstasy,
and daunting obligation.
Trying to be my mother, I watched as you
learned to become your father.
With a baby to raise
we found ourselves drowning
in images from the past.
Her crying was relentless.
I was weary — you, impatient
the two of us struggling, together
yet growing apart and living each day
in our increasingly
separate worlds.
Alone
I whispered.
Alone, you heard nothing.
We stopped breathing
and instead choked
on unspoken words.
Too many unanswered whispers
and I slowly went mad.
Inside my loneliness I felt teardrops
as thick as the milk
feeding our child.
And I heard the echo of my own voice
calling your name
as she slept in my arms.
Where was I?
I can’t remember.
Where were you?
It doesn’t matter anymore.
A time of unbearable sorrow
has already diminished in intensity
as I realize how much
our baby has grown,
how beautiful and strong
she has become.
I look at her face and
see you, her father,
smiling back at me
just like so many years ago.
Originally published on my blog.
