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Image for post
Photo by insung yoon on Unsplash

I close my eyes and I remember
how we once made each other laugh.
I lived for your smile, which signaled
another moment of our life together, forever,
for a while.

Our youthful dreams intertwined
as we practiced being one.

Then she came.
A bundle of unspeakable pride, utter ecstasy,
and daunting obligation.

Trying to be my mother, I watched as you
learned to become your father.
With a baby to raise
we found ourselves drowning
in images from the past.

Her crying was relentless.
I was weary — you, impatient
the two of us struggling, together
yet growing apart and living each day
in our increasingly
separate worlds.

Alone
I whispered.
Alone, you heard nothing.
We stopped breathing
and instead choked
on unspoken words.

Too many unanswered whispers
and I slowly went mad.

Inside my loneliness I felt teardrops
as thick as the milk
feeding our child.

And I heard the echo of my own voice
calling your name
as she slept in my arms.

Where was I?
I can’t remember.
Where were you?
It doesn’t matter anymore.

A time of unbearable sorrow
has already diminished in intensity
as I realize how much
our baby has grown,
how beautiful and strong
she has become.

I look at her face and
see you, her father,
smiling back at me
just like so many years ago.

Originally published on my blog.

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